Kevin Durant's 2014 MVP Speech

Kevin Durant gave a speech upon winning the NBA MVP award this week. People are proclaiming his speech as “powerful”, “emotional”, and other words than indicate something far more impressive than what it was. They’re calling it the greatest MVP speech of all time. I think people wanted to be moved by it because everyone loves KD. He’s humble, he plays hard, he gives back to his community, he never speaks ill of his teammates, coaches, or really anyone. And oh yeah, he’s an incredibly good basketball player with an exciting game that results in a lot of points. He’s everything you want in a sports superstar.

Somehow, despite all that, he was also the underdog. He broke LeBron James’ streak of MVPs. James is not as universally likeable as Durant. He betrayed his hometown team in a manner that seemed like he was intentionally inflicting as much pain as possible, as publicly as possible. He gave up on his small-market team of underdogs to stack the odds in his favor in Miami alongside other star players. He also is perhaps the most naturally athletic player in NBA history and hasn’t had to overcome anything. He’s an easy guy to root against. So not only does everyone love Durant, everyone wants to love Durant.

Everyone also wants to love Durant’s speech, and so they are unwilling to acknowledge one simple fact. Throughout his speech, in an effort to sound more dramatic, more humble, and more likeable somehow, KD lied out his ass.

We moved so many different places growing up. It felt like a box. It felt like there was no getting out.

Ignoring the fact that moving a lot and feeling like you’re inside a box contradicts itself, you lived in Washington fucking DC. Not small town America. Not a third world country. In the capital of the world’s number one superpower. Shut the fuck up with you thought there was no getting out.

My dream was to become a rec league coach.

Fuck you, Kevin, no it wasn’t. That isn’t anyone’s dream. Maybe that was your backup plan. Maybe if your playing career didn’t pan out, you wanted to coach kids. Sure, I can buy that. But it wasn’t your dream. If that was all you cared to be, you wouldn’t have been busting your ass since you were a pre-teen to be the best player that you could be.

I just never thought I could make it to college…

You won a fucking AAU national championship when you were 11 years old. You were being recruited by colleges since before you went to high school. You were 6’9” in high school and First Team All American. You never thought? Ever?

…NBA…

You were the highest rated recruit in the country entering college. You won national player of the year in a landslide. Everyone knew you were a one and done. But you never thought you’d make it to the NBA? Ever?

I fell so many times, and got back up.

When the fuck exactly did you fall? I mentioned your pre-high school, high school, and college success. You were also an instant star in the NBA. You’ve been considered the best scorer in the league for almost that entire time. You’ve never had a bad year. What, because you haven’t won the NBA Finals yet? That’s failing and getting back up? Forgive me for not shedding a fucking tear.

I went through the toughest times with my family.

Look, you come from a single parent family, I get it. Your mom worked hard. She sounds like a tremendous lady. But the toughest times? Toughest? Really? You had a roof. You had food. You received an education. You had after school programs. Your talent was recognized by the right people. You were able to pursue your dreams. I don’t know all of your family’s situation, but nothing that’s public seems to scream the “toughest times”.

As a second grader, I had a Pistons Grant Hill jersey.

Fuck me, man. You had a Grant Hill jersey in second grade? I didn’t have a jersey in second grade. I wish I had it as tough as you.

Nick (Collison)…you believed in me from the beginning. You knew that I had potential.

YOU WERE THE NATIONAL COLLEGIATE PLAYER OF THE YEAR AND THE SECOND PICK IN THE DRAFT. EVERYONE FUCKING KNEW YOU HAD POTENTIAL.

Kevin Durant is an amazing player and even better person. I get it. But don’t give me this bullshit about how great his speech was. It was manufactured horseshit.